Outflow

I thought for sure I had written something in January... guess not! Isn't it funny how sometimes with the dawning of a new year you can be absolutely expectant of change? It doesn't really matter if you have big plans or if there is a big event in the coming year, there's just something about the month of January that's invigorating and motivating. I don't know. Is it just me?

I wouldn't really say anything massive has happened thus far in 2008 in my life, but I still can't seem to put out of my mind the idea that something big is right around the corner. I don't have the slightest clue what it might be, though. I know a few things I'd like it to be... :) In reality, it's cool that God knows and I don't, cause that way I can't get my hopes up for anything in particular. I don't generally like surprises, but when it's the Lord who's surprising me at least I can be sure of one thing: it will be something good, even if not at first appearance.

Moving on... want to know what the Lord has been speaking to my heart? It seems to be the same thing over and over, everywhere I look, and that is this: Just as important as being fed and built up in the Word is having an outflow - a way for Him to use me in this world as a vessel for His love. Fascinating, eh? I mean, I keep asking, "God, are you sure you want to use me? Cause I'm pretty small and insignificant, and oh so covered in the dirt of this earth. Can I really be of any good where You're concerned?" It's really funny, because His answer is something I wouldn't expect. I'd think He would find some way to build me up in confidence or show me how great I can be if I trust Him. But no, that's not what He does. He allows me to mumble and stumble and trip over myself (sometimes literally) and be totally embarrassed and humbled in one way or another. Then, when I'm chiding myself mentally for being an idiot, He fills my heart with unexplainable peace and wraps those huge, strong arms of His around me and reminds me that when I am weak, He is strong. And that's all that matters, period. So He'll use me however He wants, and it's not up to me to be great. Whew, that's a relief! All I have to do is be willing, and to take steps (yes, baby steps usually, even though they feel like ginormous leaps) of faith where He leads me.

I leave you with a verse my friend Heidi and I discussed recently, and that is 1 Samuel 16:7 "The Lord doesn't make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at a person's thoughts and intentions."